Yesterday I joined in with Tara's Gallery, and said how I'd never blogged about Leo's birth. As I started to give it some thought and begin to write I realised I could never fit it into one (or two!) posts.... so to stop your bums going numb or your laptop batteries dying here goes with the first instalment and a bit of the conversations that led up to it.
Many years ago way before we were even thinking we'd be together long term, let alone get married and think about babies Aaron and I were having a conversation about births and he said there was NO way he would be present at the birth of his child. I was a bit taken aback by this as I thought most Dads these days probably would be but I didn't think too much about it, I was only 19 after all and babies were not yet on my mind.
As my pregnancy progressed we discussed it, or more accurately I mentioned it and was met with the same answer - no way was he going to be in the room. Being pregnant and hormonal my feelings changed frequently on the matter. Sometimes I was fine with it as it was his decision, and sometimes I felt panicked about doing it without him, or worried how it would affect me or us if he didn't 'share' the experience - it was such a big thing and I felt I'd never be able to explain it properly afterwards and worried that he'd never really appreciate what had happened.
I didn't really have anyone else I wanted or could have there, I lived a reasonable distance from most of my friends and as much as I am close to my Mum when it came down to it I really wanted it to be Aaron with me. We spoke about it lots, and in the end I suppose I forced him to be there. It's always been said I couldn't force him to do anything he didn't want to do, so I feel honoured that he did it despite really REALLY not wanting to.
Although, I really did think that after the event he would be pleased he had been there. I've heard many Dad's say that even though they did not really want to be there, or they did not want to be at the 'business end' but afterwards were glad that they did. I did not expect Aaron to watch the proceedings as I can't say I would have wanted to do that myself so I didn't expect it would be that much of an issue.
|Leo at 3 hours old.|
I realise in a post entitled "My birth story" that there hasn't been much about an actual birth, it was just starting to turn into the longest post in the world, so I'll give you all a break and let you read part 2 here.