Be careful what you wish for

Be careful what you wish for...you might just get it

I don't know when I first heard that expression but it was a long time ago and I remember thinking how ridiculous it was,  surely if you wished for something it would be good to get it right?

I also don't know how many times since then I've realised just how true it is.

This morning I woke up at 6am. 

The curtains were open as they usually are on weekdays to make it easier for me to get up for school. I'd left them open for the last two weeks despite the shutdown just so it was waking me up naturally around 7 ish.   Not as early as a usual school day as my alarm is usually set for 6:30am, but not as late as I'd normally get up on a weekend these days.

The clocks went forward yesterday, but I forgot how much lighter it would be in the morning so when I woke at 6am it felt later.  I lay there for a while trying to get back to sleep, I tried for about 5 minutes and but restless.   I debated whether to pick up my phone,  knowing that if I did I might as well get up as there is no way I can ever go back to sleep once I've done that.

Was it crazy to get up so early when I didn't have to?  I was tired still and I knew I'd be tired later, I'd likely be falling asleep at 9am in front of the tv.

But I thought of all the things I could be doing, the peace and quiet there would be for maybe a whole hour before anyone else got up. 

I got up. 

I made a cup of tea, as quietly as I could!

I went out on the balcony and saw the sun come up.

I listened to the quiet and the bird song,  I wasn't as amazed about it as I usually am this early as it's sounded like that for days now but it's still lovely.

I pretended for a minute that I was about to make packed lunches for the boys, and wake them up and say 'get dressed', 'wash your face', 'did you even brush your hair', 'just get your shoes on'  'where's your bag'  and 'Come on, time to go'. 

I imagined what I might do once they had left for school, I'd probably stop and have a cuppa with my Dad on the way back from school if I'd walked with them. Maybe I'd be getting ready to go to my exercise class,  maybe I'd be off to Slimming World, or maybe I'd be about to start work.

I wondered how many times in my life I'd not wanted to get out of bed as early as I had to,  how many times I'd wished I could lie in.

How many times have I wished I could just stay at home, and not have to be anywhere, or do anything?

Be careful what you wish for!

I was glad I got up though, it makes it feel like a Monday and that's a good thing. (there's something I never thought I would say!).