Sunday, 30 May 2010

The early daze.....

Now that Leo has turned one I find myself looking back to his first few weeks with us, it was a surreal time, wonderful, tiring, amazing and much more that I could never find words to describe properly. I was told over and over to really cherish the early days as they go so fast, sounds like a cliché but for good reason. So I did.

I remember leaving the hospital, walking slowly and painfully down the corridors to the car park, AJ carrying Leo in his black and yellow car seat. I think it was quite a hot day and I was unsure how to dress Leo, all the babies seemed so wrapped up and I felt it was too much but didn't know what to do, a dilemma that stayed with me for most of his first year actually especially arriving in Cyprus where the local babies are often still wearing coats and its over 30degrees.

I had planned to breastfeed, however it didn't end up happening (I'm not having the breast versus formula debate now, I may come back to it if the mood takes me)  On his first night at home I was trying to breastfeed him but the poor little man was not getting a drop and AJ ended up on a midnight dash to buy formula, going to several different petrol stations while I sat on the sofa with a screaming 1 day old baby wondering what the hell was taking so long!

 AJ was self employed at the time and unfortunately we couldn't afford for him to take time off, it was fine as I was living with my parents so we were not alone. It did turn out though that everyone was out on the Monday after his birth, not a problem I said, and it wasn't, not really... everyone left and Leo was asleep  in his moses basket I sat on the sofa and watched him, wondering what to do next. All was fine until I took him upstairs to change him and the postman knocked on the door. It seems silly now but I couldn't work out what to do, the dog was going mad as usual, I went to run downstairs and realised I couldn't leave him on his changing table, I wonder now why I didn't think of putting him in his cot, or even on the floor - where did I think he would go! I scooped him up and rushed to the door to receive a huge bunch of flowers, he was now crying due to a combination of the rush to the door and the mad dog barking... then as I was trying to find something to do with the flowers the phone rang, I put him down to answer now worried as dog was still barking and Leo was still crying, it was AJ just seeing if I was ok!

I do look back in amusement at how much I worried when Leo cried, I didn't really realise it at the time though. We used to carry him in his basket from living to dining room backwards and forwards until whatever time we realised we could leave him in one place!

Of course there is more I could say, I'm sure that like any mother I could talk about this for hours. Maybe one day I'll do it all again knowing what I know now, of course no two babies are the same so all that I think I've learned will go out the window!


  1. Doesn't sound silly at all - until you have a baby you can't understand what all this talk of 'juggling' is really about. I had to ask a stranger in the street to hold my baby once so I could get my phone out of my bag - for some reason didn't have a buggy with me... It's just we're so used to thinking of ourselves as competent and in control, then along comes a baby! X

  2. This made me laugh. I remember those days so well. You look back and think 'what was I thinking?'. It's just such a big adjustment, being responsible for another life like that!

    Thanks for Rewinding at the Fibro!


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