Skip to main content

Scrolling and Sighing

 Do you ever find yourself on social media scrolling with a sigh?

I'm sure you have seen posts that make you feel like you could be better, that others are fitter, tidier thinner, more beautiful, wealthier, loved, or just generally happier than you. 

This time of year can be the worst, when it looks like everyone is having a better time, with huge piles of gifts, perfect decorations, happy families, matching PJs, and beautiful happy children baking cookies. 

It's not unique to Christmas of course, summer evenings at the beach, family BBQ's, birthdays, exotic holidays,  cute kids, loved up couples, beautiful people and inspirational houses can have the same effect all year round. 

There have been times where I've had to step away from the phone, when it all feels a bit too much.  Times where I was perfectly happy until the beautiful happy photos slowly chip away at your peace and start to make you feel like things should be different, everything needs to be improved, that your relationships are not good enough and that everyone else is generally having a better life than you.

They say that 'Comparison is the thief of joy' and it is so true. Feelings of envy and jealously breed low self confidence and depression, which in turn will make you feel even worse about your life and perpetuate the cycle. 

It's a hard habit to break, and one that I still battle with.  I am happy with my life, and know I am very privileged to have a roof over my head, food on my table and family and friends around me.  I have spent years trying to practice gratitude and instill the same into my children, and mostly I am doing OK.  I am increasingly able to look at the beautiful photos and I usually smile to see that there is joy in the world and that the people I choose to follow are finding something to be happy about especially in this year where so much has been difficult to say the least. 


The most important thing to remember is that all you see on social media is someones highlights roll, they only share the things they want you to see. 

It can be hard to remember that though - I know from experience! 

I once felt envious after seeing photos of a lovely family New Years Eve,  and a pang of envy at the matching outfits, stunning decor, food, games and laughing smiling faces.  They were photos posted by a friend of mine and a few days after we met and I commented on what a lovely evening they had.   I then heard about the tantrum from the toddler, the snoring husband who didn't join in with the games,  and the food that the kids refused to eat.   I realised that I'd actually had a lovely night with my own family and yet again I'd let the habit of comparison steal my happiness. 

Remember that for every perfect Instagram photo there are usually many more that didn't make the feed. The crying children, the messy house, the badly lit selfies, the list is endless. 

Some of the least happy people in real life have the most perfect social media lives, you never really know just what the smiling faces are hiding, or if the pile of dirty washing is just out of the frame on the perfect tidy house photo.   They used to say 'the camera never lies'  that couldn't be more wrong these days.

Studies have shown that people are less likely to reveal their negative emotions and at the same time tend to over estimate the positivity of others.  So as well as not seeing the full picture on someones feed, the tendency is to also distort the feelings behind it. 


Once people tried to keep up with the 'Joneses' and their neighbours and now it's moved online giving us a window into many more lives and making it harder to separate the facts from the filters. 

We just need to remember not to compare our behind the scenes and outtakes with someone else's highlights reel. 



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The one with the massive flashback

Facebook drives me mad a lot of the time, not mad enough to not live on it constantly of course (It's not that I *want* too, I HAVE to because of my work, well that and I'm far too nosy not to!)  It's full of rubbish a lot of the time, but also lots of little gems, funny things and random links that are a major time suck but so addictive. Every now and again though it throws up a gem, or in this case inspiration for a blog post... Recently I saw a link to an 80's nostalgia website and this particular post was all about the 'Come and Praise' hymn book that surely every 80s kid held in their grubby little hands once upon a time. (I couldn't find the original post, so I'm making my own!) We used this book every morning in assembly throughout my primary school years. They were kept in a box and handed out at the door as we left the classroom to go to the 'Big Hall' for assembly.  There were many very battered copies in the box and a few b

20 Questions - Interview with a 3 year old.

I came across a great idea on Pinterest a while ago where you ask your child a series of questions each year on their birthday staring at age 3 and then you can see how their answers change over the years.  I asked him the questions over a few days as and when he decided to cooperate and answer them - to most of them the answer was first 'I don't know' which is what he responds to everything at the moment even if he knows so I had to try a few times to get an answer out of him! Now he keeps asking me the questions too! 1. What is your favourite colour?   Light blue (this changes each time you ask him!)  2. What is your favourite toy?       Thomas   (the tank engine)  3. What is your favorite fruit?   Grapes 4. What is your favourite tv show?   Thomas  5. What is your favourite thing to eat for lunch?   Ham and salad cream ( sandwiches )  6. What is your favorite outfit?     Boys will be boys (t-shirt, doesn't care which shorts!)  7. Wha

My best Slimming World recipe EVER! - Cheesy Meatball Pasta Bake

Since going back to Slimming World at the start of January I've been making an effort to try some new recipes and keep varying my food every day. Although there is an endless choice when it comes to what you 'can' eat with Slimming World, like anything it's all too easy to fall into a habit of eating the same things day in and day out.  I have many SW cookbooks as well as a folder with lots of recipes that I've collected from the magazine over the years, I've actually made very few though! Last week I decided to try a new one out, and I wish I'd made it sooner! Cheesy Meatball Pasta Bake was a massive hit with the whole family and possibly one of the best main Slimming World meals I've ever made! You need... For the meatballs - 500g extra lean pork mince 6 finely chopped spring onions Dried herbs ( I used about a teaspoon each of basil and oregano) 1tbsp Worcestershire sauce 1 tbsp tomato puree For the sauce - 1 finely chop